I’m Unworthy

There have been times in my life when I have experienced a mountain top relationship with G-D. Times when my world seems to be in order, the oil of faith in my lamp is full, and the flame is burning brightly. There were also times in my life when it seemed as if my world and everything in it was tumbling down that mountain like an avalanche. Times when the spiritual traumas in my life caused me to question not only my calling, but also my worth. Times when the results of my sins and failures, as well as the turmoil taking place all around me, seemed so overwhelming. Moments when I looked towards Heaven and asked of G-D, not just “did you choose me”, but my question goes even deeper to “why are you even talking to me.” 

Over my years as a believer, I have had times where in a very short amount of time, I was wrestling with my faith. I have lost loved ones to death, visited other people I love in the hospital, experienced natural disasters, dealt with both personal and congregational financial issues, and found myself in the middle of the excruciating pain of broken relationships. 

In those years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds - I didn’t find myself wrestling with the question of if G-D exists, or if Yeshua was the Messiah. Nor have I wondered if G-D was truly righteous and holy. My question was not about G-D HImself, but about me. I would ask the questions “why me” or “am I worthy.” 

It was while I was experiencing one of those times when I was questioning my worth and value that my heart was drawn to the narrative found written in John 4. Where we read about  a woman who was also experiencing a life swirling in turmoil and loss. This woman had a very poignant conversation with Yeshua. 

This encounter begins with these verses speaking of Yeshua:

“So He left Judea and went back again to the Galilee. But He needed to pass through Samaria. So He comes to a Samaritan town called Shechem, near the plot of land that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Now Jacob’s well was there. So Yeshua, exhausted from the journey, was sitting by the well. It was midday. A Samaritan woman comes to draw water. “Give me a drink,” 

‭‭John‬ ‭4‬:‭3‬-‭7‬ ‭TLV‬‬

In response to Yeshua’s request for a drink the woman responded this way:

Then the Samaritan woman tells Him, “How is it that You, a Jew, ask me, a Samaritan woman, for a drink?” (For Jewish people don’t deal with Samaritans.)”  

‭‭John‬ ‭4‬:‭9‬ ‭TLV‬‬

Think about this woman and the personal trauma she was carrying with her. After all, she was at the well getting water in the hottest time of the day to avoid others from her city because she was a rejected woman. Imagine the emotional baggage she was dragging behind her, not only because of her five broken marriages, but also because she was currently living with a man she was not married to.

This was the messed up, mixed up life that Yeshua entered into and spoke the words “give me a drink.” The woman’s response to Yeshua was “Why are you asking me for a drink when you know I am a Samaritan?” Remember the Samaritans were considered unrighteous and unworthy by the Jews.

It was during this conversation that Yeshua reveals Himself as Messiah to a woman who was, not only a Samaritan, but also living with a man who was not her husband. In other words, Yeshua purposely chose an emotionally broken woman, who was not Jewish, who worshipped differently, and was openly living in sin. It was to this “unworthy mess of a person,” Yeshua spoke these words. Proclaiming His Messiahship: 

“Yeshua tells her, “I—the One speaking to you—I am.””

‭‭John‬ ‭4‬:‭26‬ ‭TLV‬‬

During their short conversation we read these words spoken to the woman by Yeshua:

“Yeshua replied to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who is saying to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” / Yeshua replied to her, “Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again. But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never be thirsty. The water that I give him will become a fountain of water within him, springing up to eternal life!” John 4:10, 13-14 TLV

The woman’s response is in the next verse:

“Sir,” the woman tells Him, “give me this water, so I won’t get thirsty or have to come all the way here to draw water!””

‭‭John‬ ‭4‬:‭‭15‬ ‭TLV‬‬

The woman drank of the Water of Life and returned to her city sharing the message of Yeshua. The result of her sharing was:

“Many of the Samaritans from that town put their trust in Him because of the word of the woman testifying…”

‭‭John‬ ‭4‬:‭39‬ ‭TLV‬‬

As we consider this narrative we should all be encouraged. If G-D could choose to redeem and use this emotionally broken Samaritan woman. A woman who had been married five times and was now openly sinfully living with a man. Then, he can choose to redeem and use you and I no matter how sinful, broken, and religiously confused He finds us. It is because He chose us that we are worthy. We just need to meet Him at the well. Believe His words and drink from the waters of life.